Last night my sons were having choir practice in a church, and while I was waiting for them I wandered into a side chapel. I wanted to pray, to have some private God-time. When I looked around the chapel, I realized it was connected to the main sanctuary by glass doors ... See-through glass doors. I immediately and instinctively sought out the seat in the chapel least likely to be visible to the practicing choir, only to realize that every singer that walked out that side during break would clearly see me through another set of doors. I looked around and peeked and checked lines of sight till I found the one seat that was least likely to be visible from either angle.
I saw a stand for lighting candles for prayer, and I wanted to know what donation they suggested for them, but I was too embarrassed to turn the light on and look more closely. Finally, realizing that it didn't matter because I only had a few coins on me, I fished the four quarters I did have from my changepurse ... and immediately began worrying about how much noise they would make if I dropped them in the donation box. I decided to wait till the choir was at a louder passage and drop one in, and was relieved to discover that some clever person had padded the bottom of the box so I deposited the other three with a sigh of relief and lit one of the candles, hoping I was not inadvertently offending my hosts. Then I sat back down in my carefully-calculated, least-visible spot.
Why am I so embarrassed at the thought of others seeing me in an act of worship or devotion? I am not ashamed to tell others I am a Christian, nor do I make any attempt to hide the fact that every Sunday morning I am not available for other things because I will be found at a house of worship. What am I hiding, or what am I hiding from?
Luke 9:26 " For whoever is ashamed of Me and My words, the Son of Man will be ashamed of him when He comes in His glory, and the glory of the Father and of the holy angels.
Earlier in the day, as I was taking my children to school, we passed a pick-up truck completely bedecked in signs telling about the driver's trust in God, a painting of Jesus, and fistfulls of flags of all sizes to honor our military veterans. Inwardly I recoiled at the thought of driving around in a car like that while also admiring that driver for his fearless proclamation of what he believes. Why should I want to hide something so precious to me, something obviously worth sharing with anyone and everyone? I found myself kneeling in prayer at my out-of-sight spot and speaking to God with my voice a tiny whisper so as not to be heard, seeking to understand my instincts and my fears.
Romans 1:16 For I am not ashamed of the gospel, for it is the power of God for salvation to everyone who believes, to the Jew first and also to the Greek.
If I was not ashamed to tell people of my faith, to tell them I pray and worship, even to encourage them to join me, why would I be ashamed of being seen? Are there other things everyone knows, things I would even encourage them to do, but that I wouldn't want them to see? It only took a moment for me to realize just how long that list is: Dressing, bathing, making love to my spouse, getting a physical ... I'm certain anyone could add a dozen more to the list in a few seconds.
But what do all these things have in common with prayer, worship, or individual devotion?
It took me a while to come up with it, but ultimately the answer is really quite simple: They are private. Everyone knows I get dressed because they see me in clothes every day, but even my doctor doesn't actually watch me take them off or put them on, and I still recommend regular doctor visits. Everyone knows I have consummated my marriage at least three times, given that I have three children, and I certainly encourage husbands and wives to enjoy each other in that way, but that doesn't mean I want spectators in my bedroom. Those are not things I share outside the most intimate of relationships, and neither are those equally intimate moments with God in which I bare my soul to Him times at which I would welcome an audience.
Matthew 6:6 "But you, when you pray, go into your inner room, close your door and pray to your Father who is in secret, and your Father who sees what is done in secret will reward you."
Furthermore, just because my car isn't festooned in mini-billboards doesn't mean I'm ashamed of Jesus. Some of us are more reserved by nature, shy even. Some of us, by choosing a more moderate course, do more to serve our families and reach our coworkers and clients than we could as a rolling Jesus-spectacle.
1 Corinthians 9:20-22 To the Jews I became as a Jew, so that I might win Jews; to those who are under the Law, as under the Law though not being myself under the Law, so that I might win those who are under the Law; to those who are without law, as without law, though not being without the law of God but under the law of Christ, so that I might win those who are without law. To the weak I became weak, that I might win the weak; I have become all things to all men, so that I may by all means save some.
More ostentatious does not necessarily mean more sincere. It is not only acceptable, but also useful for private devotion to remain private. How dramatically does an audience change our conversations with others? How much more so does it change our conversations with God? Speaking publicly about Jesus has value, but so does speaking privately with Him.
Also, not all public witness needs to be on mobile billboards to send its message. I have two items on my car that identify me as a believer to other drivers: a plain, white window decal of a simple heart with a cross-shaped hole in it and a "vanity" license plate most people readily recognize as a statement of faith in Jesus Christ. It may not be quite as in-your-face, but unlike the gentleman in the rolling Jesus-spectacle, I can drive to work and park in the parking lot without getting towed or fired. Unlike him, I can fit in drive-throughs, toll booths, and parking garages. My low-key approach will gain me access to people and places his approach will not.
1 Timothy 2:9-10 Likewise, I want women to adorn themselves with proper clothing, modestly and discreetly, not with braided hair and gold or pearls or costly garments, but rather by means of good works, as is proper for women making a claim to godliness.
It's ok to be private about one's faith. It's ok to let your deeds be your witness. It's ok to be quiet and subtle. It's also ok to be "loud and proud." God is not the sith emperor sending out an army of clones, but the creator sending out His godly bride, the body of Christ, to reach and to serve.
Romans 12:4-6a For just as we have many members in one body and all the members do not have the same function, so we, who are many, are one body in Christ, and individually members one of another. Since we have gifts that differ according to the grace given to us, each of us is to exercise them accordingly ...
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